Nasty memory

Sometimes I wonder how our memory can hold on to certain moments and keep in mind all the details, other times it just focus on the most important issues of that moment and there are other ones that just slip away like they've never been there, like they have never happened. It's amazing if we think upon it for some time how the most memories that keep surfacing are the worst ones and not the good ones, perhaps to make us see what we have done wrong in the past and that we shouldn't be repeating it again? I really don't have a clue about it and to tell the truth I've never done much thought on it, but right now there's a memory that keeps popping in and out and I can't really say if it is bad or good...And it's kind of frustrating,really...
I guess it is a good one as the part that I remember really well makes me sigh and it gives me goosebumps all over my body but then I remember everything that happened on that day and I can't make it a good thought anymore.
FLASHBACK
It was a hot day and we were on a school trip, everybody was happy and singing, playing the guitar...I was in a good mood too until I felt the world crash down on me. Silly I know but I can't help it if my stupid heart decided to break all the rules and fall hard for one of my best friends. I do try to keep my desire away but what can I do my heart seems to be just as stubborn as my mind. So you can see that it really wasn't a pretty sight for me when he spent the whole trip snogging is supposed girlfriend. I really hold on well, I kept most of the trip with a beautiful smile on my face and playing around with my friends but I was kind of expecting to spend the trip with him. Oh, and don't get me wrong I know he has his girlfriend but really it wouldn't be the first time he would leave her just to be with me. We are really good friends and if there's something I treasure it's his friendship. I love his company, his witty remarks, our heated discussions and it doesn't really help when he his kind of a hot guy too. Well, I really just started getting unpleasant towards the others on the way back and I decided it was better if I was alone in one of the benches of the bus. Lucky me that without thinking just sat in front of the snogging couple! Or was I trying to see how further they would go? Hell, I can't even understand myself. And as stupid as it is I remember a tear making its way down my face and in my rage of being like that because of a stupid teenager with ranging hormones I wiped it away with full force. And as I was gazing into space he came to stand beside me. I focused my sight on him, my hair had fallen in front of my eyes and then he made the stupidest move, the one I can't take my mind of. He raised his hand slowly and pulled a stray of my hair behind my ear and while doing it brushed his knuckles on my cheek. Oh, how I felt every little nerve of my body contract behind his touch, how I felt goosebumps all over me. And the stupid prick kept looking at me in the eyes unaware of his effect or perhaps totally aware and enjoying his power over me.
END OF FLASHBACK
You may think this is stupid as we are close friends, right? The problem it's even though he had touched me before it never was such an intimate gesture. It seemed that he was taking care of me and the sudden desire to cuddle in his arms was really hard to fight back. I guess this images popping in and out are just a picture of what I desire. It has been a really long time since I've been with a guy and perhaps that's why I find myself craving for his touch.

Ladybird